Roaa Alkhawaja
With great knowledge comes crazy hair.
When they weren’t busy studying organic chemistry nomenclature and memorizing solubility rules, MC’s fourth-period AP Chemistry class innovated a solution to the Einstein hair phenomenon or “Einsteinhairium.” It’s something they call, “the ferret comb.”
“Well, it’s a simple fact of life. The best scientists have the biggest hair. The more you know, the bigger your hair will grow. This is a phenomenon known by the science world as Einsteinhairium,” MC junior Hallie Jin said.
From Einstein, the scientist whom the phenomenon was named after, to Dmitri Mendeleev, the co-inventor of the periodic table, the condition is widespread among accomplished scientists. In fact, Einsteinhairium affects 8/10 highly educated individuals in STEM, according to Legit News for Nerds.com.
“Scientists develop large and luscious mains to accommodate for a surplus in ideas. At a certain point, the brain is forced to let go of certain things to make room for the influx of new ideas. So, in an attempt to retain what’s been lost, the brain emits a signal to the hair follicles to grow larger and faster to essentially serve as a net for lost neurons,” Yale Psychologist Alberta Noot-on said in her dissertation “On the Relationship Between Hair Follicles and Synapses.”
The ferret comb will revolutionize the world of academia. But behind every beautiful concept is crude science.
“On the tip of every bristle, there is a receptor that transmits the information caught in the hair into a database designed by MC AP Computer Science students. From there, customers pay a low price of $99 to access the information on their own device,” MC senior Molly Able said.
Designing the comb after a ferret may seem like an arbitrary design decision, but it is far from it. According to petkeen.com, ferrets are brilliant creatures with excellent problem-solving skills. While they are often portrayed as vicious or disturbed creatures, ferrets are really just little fighting underdogs (or underferrets).
“Ferrets are the unsung heroes of society. They are valiant and noble creatures. Despite these qualities, ferrets have a poor reputation. They are perceived as sneaky good-for-nothing animals. But I swear if you give them a chance they will weasel into your heart. They continue to serve society despite how badly they are treated. We nerds relate to ferrets,” MC Senior and original creator of the ferret comb, Maahi Rakholia said.
So, in true ferret fashion, MC’s 4th period AP Chem students created a solution to Einsteinhairium that would be available not just to themselves, but to every nerd out there.
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes […] the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo,” Apple co-founder, Steve Jobs.
