Covid = Superpowers?

After contracting the explosively contagious Omicron variant and quarantining until they test negative, teachers and students have started to notice strange side-effects in students. The first reported incident was on Jan. 3rd, as school cameras picked up images of one student appearing in multiple places simultaneously . 

“It was so bizarre, we thought that our system may have had a glitch,” safety member Vax Zine said. “After we rebooted the system and saw this happen again, we dispatched golf carts around the school to capture the clones.”

After promising not to clone themselves until after school, the student was sent back to class by staff. At lunch, however, Zine reported seeing a large crowd build in the quad, discovering about ten clones in the center of this large group. Disobeying the administrative order to not clone during school hours results in a punishment of school wide gum-scraping off the concrete.

“It was so funny,” one student who witnessed the event said. “All of a sudden there were two, then three, then ten of them! I think the original person fled the scene and was able to go home early.”

A close friend of the cloner reported that they had also been using their new-found ability to partake in more extracurriculars and prepare for higher level classes. 

“They don’t only clone their body, but they can also clone their brain, meaning they are fully present in that clone body. Now, they can acquire so much more information at one time, even do their homework while another replica is watching a movie,” the friend said. 

The student accused of cloning has disclosed that they are fully vaccinated, meaning that they had gotten their initial two rounds of the Pfizer vaccine and received the “booster” shot two weeks before the December break. They also confirmed that they had contracted the Omicron variant from family members earlier in the break, but was able to come back to school after testing negative before the New Year. 

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has released a statement after multiple states recorded similar cases of students gaining unusual powers. To combat this new issue, a hotline has been set up that allows school staff to report unusual side-effects directly to  CDC officials. 

“CDC is working with state and local public health officials to monitor the spread of Omicron and control the rise of abnormal abilities in the individuals who contract it. Thus far, only fully vaccinated individuals who have contracted and recovered from the Omicron variant, and are below the age of 19, have reported these supernatural powers. To prevent the spread, make sure to continue wearing masks,” the CDC reported. 

The eruption of Covid cases from the week of  January 3rd worried teachers, especially as they go into their second week back from break. Teachers have been advised not to approach those who begin to show signs of their abnormal abilities, and instead contact the  CDC . 

Campus safety and teachers have encountered a multitude of other powers, including students teleporting back home in the middle of tests, many different objects vanishing into seemingly thin air, and students believing that stealing soap dispensers is funny. It is unknown the true effects that this new aspect of Covid-19 will have on society, luckily these individuals have not yet proven to be dangerous.