At MC, March 13 marked a somber and unfortunate one-year anniversary of the pandemic. However, for America’s superior celebrity class, the anniversary carries a contrasting significance. While students associate March 13 with lockdowns and vicious wars over toilet paper, some celebrities reminisce over their honorable contributions towards Covid-19 aid.
Vanessa Hudgens, for example, was widely recognized for her inspirational comments made during the beginning of the pandemic.
“It’s a virus, I get it […] but even if everybody gets it, people are gonna die, which is terrible – but inevitable,” Hudgens said. “Fortunately, I’m rich and will thrive in my bubble of ignorance – mainly because you middle-classers are irrelevant. Sucks to suck!”
Hudgens received some backlash from the American Society of Snowflakes (ASS), who believed the comments were insensitive to the ongoing national crisis. Other celebrities, on the other hand, chose to defend her statements on the one-year anniversary.
“Vanessa wasn’t wrong, it all sounded like a bunch of crap – like being poor in a capitalist nation,” Zak F. Ron, who has publicly detested ASS on multiple occasions, said. “Don’t call me discriminatory against poor people – I have tons of poor friends, I just don’t believe that being poor is a real thing. Being poor, is like, a choice.”
The anniversary also marks a year since one group of celebrities released an all-healing cover of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” Gal Gadot teamed up with her fellow A-listers to recreate the song – all of whom were deeply impacted by the pandemic, considering their significant dependence upon stimulus checks. ASS, once again, found a variety of pathetic reasons to call Gadot’s cover tone-deaf – unlike Will Ferrell’s perfect pitch.
“I don’t know what ASS was so twisted up about. What else did they expect Gal Gadot to do, cure Covid? Do they think she’s Wonder Woman or something?” Instagram account @wehateASS said in a post. “Honestly, I’m sure a John Lennon cover was the best a couple of millionaires could do for the pandemic.”
Unsurprisingly, fans across the nation continue to celebrate the phenomenal year-old video produced by celebrities.
“During this Covid anniversary, you bet I’ll be listening to the ‘Imagine’ cover non-stop!” Twitter Stan Cartney McPaul tweeted – unfortunately, McPaul was found unconscious in his apartment hours after making the statement. According to paramedics, McPaul’s accident occurred due to severe brain trauma. In light of the concerning incident, neurologists are currently investigating the correlation between brain damage and repeatedly listening to the “Imagine” cover.
Although Covid-19 has created immeasurable grief across the nation, America’s one-year anniversary may not have been as sorrowful as expected. By recognizing the useful and effective solutions provided by entertainment stars, citizens can easily “Imagine” a better future.