Michael Andrews
In the year 2020, Southern California’s water shortage became more severe than it ever had been before. The Colorado River dried up due to warmer climate and water reclamation programs continued to be swatted by protestors against the conservation of wastewater. To solve this problem, chunks of the polar ice caps were dragged to the coasts of Los Angeles and San Diego to provide sources of freshwater. Three years later, the cities are now planning to drag even more to replace the ones that have now melted.
Proponents in San Diego claim that they don’t mind the side effects they are facing from having miles of ice now resting along their coasts.
“Yes, we can’t swim at the beaches because we’ll freeze to death, but who cares! The water was always cold” said San Diego Mayor Thad Nguyen who has been in support of the project from the beginning. “At least we don’t have to deal with toilet to tap water and now we even have a winter!” Mayor Nguyen said.
Toilet to tap was a term coined by the media of San Diego to describe a water reclamation program, potable reuse. The program was designed to recycle water from the suburban areas in the northern part of San Diego and place them in the reservoirs, which are located in the southern part of San Diego. The reason the water was to be taken from the north was because it had the fewest industries and was mostly residential. However, the project was shot down despite its many merits, by multiple interest groups throughout San Diego largely on the platform that it was gross.
The ice berg has also given rise to new professions in the area.
“The ice has really given our business opportunities it has never had before.” John Frost said, CEO of Ice Ice Baby Inc. “I used to just run IIB out of my garage because, as you can guess, there wasn’t much ice in Southern California. I knew someday I’d prove them wrong, everyone who ever doubted me! Anyways, I totally support the rejection of toilet to tap. I mean, first we start reusing sewage, next we’ll start using animal waste in food production where does it end,” Frost said.
The ice berg, while benefitting new businesses, has been quite detrimental to ones that have been around.
“Most of the boats that were in my harbor are now in lakes,” Said Don Sanders, a local harbormaster. “I tried to start a new dock at Poway Lake, but the lake has been completely blanketed by boats” Sanders said. The new landmasses over the lakes composed of boats have rid Residents of lake activities as well as developing new above water slums for all those who were unemployed by the ice berg.
The fishing industry has taken a large hit as well.
“I’ve had to move my business to the Salton Sea,” Fisherman Jack Brandon said. “Since all the local fish have died off from the cold, I’ve had to
resort to walking the beaches of the Salton Sea with a basket, picking up the least rotted fish. At least business is booming after all there’s little competition in the field, other than the seagulls” Brandon said.
“Despite the small (15 percent) increase in unemployment, San Diego is on the up and up,” Said Mayor Nguyen. “I’m just excited to be a part of this revolutionary new method of bringing water to dry places, and can’t wait to relax in the cool, ice berg air. I’m also excited to announce that my family and I will be moving to our new home in Honolulu, Hawaii! But don’t worry; I can still govern San Diego over the phone”.
