Move over Sundevils, its rooster time

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An earthquake to education, a typhoon to teaching, and a disaster to the district, the rooster of MC has been wreaking havoc on the school environment.

He has claimed the service road as his own, and thou who dare to enter it shall face his wrath. The incessant “coackadoodledooing” makes grown men fall to their knees in weakness. He relishes the power he has over our school, holding us hostage to his mayhem.

Some classrooms, such as Mr. Englebrits’ and Mr. Raskin’s, are on the border of his chaos realm, and our peaceful existence.

“I can’t say for sure how he got there,” Englebrits said. “I know years ago there was another rooster, but on the first day of school this year when I heard him, I had flashbacks of a time before he menaced the school. It was horrifying. None of my students are safe from the distracting noise.”

Mr. Raskin declined to comment, as he had gone deaf.

There are many tales on the origin of the beast. Some say the owners of a nearby home could no longer contain his wrath, and he escaped, fleeing the unsuspecting MC. Others say it was a failed experiment of a science class that got out of control and had to be released. Some would even say it was a devious plot by a rival school. However, most maintain it was a spawn of the devil himself, sent to distract studious Sundevils from the righteous path of knowledge.

It’s hard to say however, when few have seen the creature with their own eyes.

“It’s like bigfoot, or an alien- you know it exists, and there is proof, but you just can’t seem to witness it yourself,” a conspiracy theory  club spokesman said.

If there’s one thing we know for sure, is that it’s best to stay calm and give it space. Maybe it will wander on without any input from us, fulfilling its clandestine operation and moving onto its next group to subjugate.

Written by Kyle Daly

Senior and the Sun's Sports Editor, Kyle Daly is active on campus as Captain of the Water Polo team and Sundevil Ambassador.

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