The Dick Hat Movement

The public is outraged with the highly offensive, completely obscene “pussy hats.” Dan Muttonbutter is bewildered with women’s choice.

“I’m from Wyoming, born and raised and I have never seen this buffoonery here,” Muttonbutter said.  “It is such vulgar language for no reason. I wonder what could possibly be going on in our country to make them all do that.”

“The Equality State” is firing back with a new, and meninism-approved, genital hat, which they claim to be their fight for equality.

“I’m getting, my whole town to

Photo Courtesy of @antiwomen1

wear dick hats,” Muttonbutter said. “If those women think they can walk around wearing genitals, we can too. It’s just equality.”   

Betty Chuckinduck, also a Wyoming resident, is participating in the Dick Hat Movement.

“I am getting all of my friends, family, and children to wear the dick hats,” Chuckinduck said. “I’m tired of women getting all the media attention. It just isn’t fair.”

There is now a Men’s March being organized as a fight for equality in Jackson, WY. Muttonbutter is organizing it all and letting the public know where to purchase the dick hats.

“They are now available in every local drug store and doctor’s office,” Muttonbutter said. “Dick’s Sporting Goods would like me all to inform you that they are not an official sponsor for this event and do not stock the hats.”

Mary Butterbiscket, a mother of four, was horrified when she went online to purchase the genital hat and advises all to buy the hats in person.

“You would not believe what terrifying images came up when I went on Google and typed in ‘dick hats,’” Butterbiscket said.  “Now that is a sight you cannot unsee.”

The march is taking place Feb. 14th 2018 in Jackson WY. Citizens are encouraged to throw on a dick hat and fight for what is right.

Written by Allsion Burgess

Allison Burgess is a senior and sports editor for the MC SUN. She likes to run track and field, hang out with friends, play with her dogs and go hiking.

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