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Trump’s Tiny Hands Make De-construction of Border Wall Easy

On Jan. 20, President Joe Biden signed an executive order halting the construction of the Trump administration’s border wall. 

Despite multibillion dollar funding put into constructing a wall boasting “anti tunnel technology” among other security measures , not much progress has been made. 

Trump’s border wall being trumped by a high-tech breach|Photo courtesy of San Antonio Current

The Biden Administration claims the reason behind said lack of progress is due to the inadequate size of former President Trump’s hands.

“Oh, the border wall? Yeah that is no big deal,” Biden Administration Press Secretary Jen Psaki said in a briefing with Useless Walls Media. “After visiting it, we found out that because of the small size of Trump’s hands, the wall was constructed out of super tiny bricks. It was like taking apart a lego structure.”

The small bricks were measured at a size of one by two by one millimeters. Such material was specially ordered from a Californian company called Mattel. 

The scandal between Barbie and former President Trump regarding voter fraud|Photo courtesy of Scary Mommy

“Surprised is an understatement! It was more of a sense of shock receiving the order from the former president. This was partly because we have signed a restraining order against him due to his foul behavior towards our valued employee, Barbie, and also because we are a children’s toy company,” Mattel CEO Ynon Kreiz said in an interview with Gossip Doll

The bricks’ unusually small size enabled Mr. Trump to construct the wall, and is now allowing  the Biden Administration to easily destroy it. 

Actual size of bricks for reference|Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com

Due to the small size of the bricks, their weight is 1/20 the size of average construction bricks. 

“My grandkids and I did the job, a legitimate construction team was unnecessary. I thought it would be a fun pastime, as the bricks resembled legos. We grabbed bricks by the handful, the job was done in a day,” President Biden said in a conversation with Vice President Harris. 

Many see the wall as analogous to Mr. Trump’s presidency: short, unpopular, and wildly unsuccessful. 

About Roaa Alkhawaja

Co-Editor in Chief and Senior, Ro'aa Alkhawaja, loves herself a good week of binge-watching Undeclared and eating more Nutella sandwiches than should be humanly possible.

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