Kevin Malone and the Short Sentence Revolution

Kevin Malone from Office had point. Few word do do trick. I used to talk long sentence. But now, no. Had epiphany: long sentence make no sense. They pretentious. They unnecessary. 

I could talk expressively, in a way that displays my prolific articulation. But, no. Small sentence best. 

Face of genius | Photo courtesy of Meme Generator

“Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick,” Malone said. 

Since say few word, I get more done. Few word equals more time. Time now not wasted on eloquence. Time now focused on efficiency. 

When talk long sentence, no one listen. No one like wordiness. 

Which better, “They waited for the bus all morning in the rain last Tuesday,” or “Waited bus in Tuesday rain”? Fact: second sentence best. Because less wordy. More efficient. 

Proffessor Dwight
Mcword-shrute | Photo courtesy of Showbiz Cheat Sheet

Cornell proves point. In study, Cornell professor Dwight Mcword-shrute found speech with few word better for brain.

“A study I conducted on optimizing word usage, found that shorter sentences were more efficient than longer sentences. They save time and stimulate the brain,” Mcword-shrute said. “In fact, those who used shorter sentences had a more developed broca’s area, the part of the brain responsible for speech and articulation. If I didn’t have to worry about maintaining an Ivy League reputation, I would use shorter sentences myself.”

Cornell guy right. People using few words, smarter. Society backwards. Long sentence wrongly celebrated. Even English legend, William Shakespeare, agree. 

“Brevity is the soul of wit,” Shakespeare said.

Now, time to take stand. Time for revolution. Dismantle oppressive standards. Few word do trick! Elitists must learn art of brevity. 

Written by Roaa Alkhawaja

Co-Editor in Chief and Senior, Ro'aa Alkhawaja, loves herself a good week of reading, baking, tea-drinking, and eating more Nutella sandwiches than should be humanly possible.


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