Daniel Kenney
The American flag stands at half mast, in commemoration of the brutal deaths of books in the library… by grub. This enigmatic occurrence holds the school in suspense as to how this is happening.
“I just wanted to casually look like I’m reading in the library so this girl would think I was smart, when this nasty thing crawled by right in front of me.” sophomore Kai Breeze said.
Librarians are wearing rebreather masks in hopes that the infectious plague of larvae contaminate their immune systems.
“It’s simply a precaution, I think everyone at school should be wearing it. We need to keep the children safe and maintain the status quo.” librarian Karen Talkner said.
Local conspirators are pointing fingers to find the cause of this conundrum. Conspiracy theorist and local Australian, Tabitha Malver has many strong opinions regarding the perpetrator.
“It was definitely that shady guy who does the ASB work. He has this look about him that points all the information to him. No wonder they’re getting audited.” Malver said.
Overall, the real problem lies in the student body, where tensions are running high as a result of such a tumultuous complication.
“So, uh, yeah. There are some bugs. I heard it was that kid Jimmy. He’s apparently doing it as a senior prank,” senior Derek Smith said. “Pretty dumb if you ask me.”
Administration has called pest control service but no action has been taken because the problem is “ridiculous” according to Korky’s Pest Control.
“It’s too late now, the infection has spread and now we can’t stop it. At least it’s at the end of the year, so no one will care after summer,” principal Craig Mango said.
The grubs have at least provided an excuse for students to not study for the approaching AP exams. All in all, the tiny pests are running rampant in the MC library and no response has been taken.
