Amanda Leslie
Remember the phrase ‘don’t hit girls,’ or ‘you can’t hit a girl?’ This age old playground saying is out of date and wrong. News flash: it isn’t okay to hit anybody, regardless of gender.
A common stereotype in movies is the scene where the couple is fighting. The girl might hit her significant other or shove him, and then they end up kissing, and this is seen as okay for some reason. There is nothing loving about that. Just because the pair is romantically involved does not mean it cannot be classified as abuse.
If the man hit the woman, then there would be an entirely different response. People would be quicker to categorize it as abusive, and it would be more believable.
As an example, look to the story of Olga Zajac and Viktor Jasinski. A man, Jasinski, broke into a hair salon and imprisoned by the female owner, Zajac, who then used as him a sex slave. The story is allegedly a hoax, but the reactions are still valuable.
Because of her supposed actions, there is a Facebook page proclaiming Zajac to be “the world’s greatest salon owner.” Her actions are portrayed to be heroic and even humorous, not abusive, like they were.
Just because it’s a woman who hurts a man doesn’t make it any less harmful.
In spousal abuse, many times men aren’t believed when they say their wife or significant other is physically abusing them.
A woman hitting or slapping a man is often seen as a minor event, due to irritation, jealousy, or the like, not necessarily an attack. There may even be thought that the man provoked it, and it may not be reported.
Is this because men are supposed to be able to “take it like a man?” Are they embarrassed that a woman could harm them when the typical male is bigger and stronger than a woman?
But when a man hits a woman, she is seen as the victim, no matter what. There is very rarely a doubt that she was attacked in any way, ad people are much more likely to believe her husband or boyfriend hurt her.
Are women seen as weaker, so the thought of them committing a crime or attacking someone is ridiculous? Is it because there are so many more counts of men attacking women?
Whatever the reason, when a woman hurts a man, it isn’t seen the same way that a man hurting a woman would be viewed.
A female perpetrator who is physically, or even emotionally, abusive is not funny, or feminist, or heroic, unless she is rightfully standing up for herself.
This is not about a need for feminism, or for women to be recognized as legitimate threats. This is a call for people to stop seeing crimes as more or less harmful because of gender.
Honestly, nobody should really hurt anyone, male or female. People should be practically blind to gender when it comes to abuse. You don’t hurt people, no matter what gender they are. This isn’t about men or women; this is about right and wrong.
