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Tag Archives: satire

These battle scars

In the words of irrelevant 2012 artist Lupe Fiasco, “These battle-scars don’t look like they’re fading”. Everyone has a scar, and a story to go along with it. Some are deeper than others, and leave more stark a mark after the wound has healed. These scars are what make us …

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Foreign Smell Terrorizes Science Building

The science buildings here at MC are among the most prestigious and well-kept on campus. Housing such toxic and volatile chemicals, and equipment worth thousands of dollars, the PUSD Board prioritizes the building itself, keeping it in tip top shape. So when a foreign smell began to permeate the building, …

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Holiday Survival Guide

It’s officially December which means the holiday season has begun. Instead of pumpkin spice flavoring invading everyone’s favorite treats, peppermint flavor has taken over. Emails are being stuffed from companies advertising record low sales, reminding consumers that they must go through the torture that is holiday shopping. As students brace …

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Book Worms

The American flag stands at half mast, in commemoration of the brutal deaths of books in the library… by grub. This enigmatic occurrence holds the school in suspense as to how this is happening. “I just wanted to casually look like I’m reading in the library so this girl would …

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Updated college requirements

If you thought the requirements for getting into college were hard before, just wait until you see them now. A-G requirements have been thrown out the window for new ones. In a recent press conference from UC President Janet Napolitano,  UC hopefuls were informed that they would have to take …

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Kenney causes chaos

As the school year begins, a new force is sweeping the school. Of course, that force is the screams (or maybe it is just a conversational voice) of sophomore Daniel Kenney. The assault on MC students’ ears began on the first day of school; however, it was passed off as …

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