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Tag Archives: satire

Age of fermentation

“It’s alive!” cry millennials across the country as they stare into their pots, pans, and of course, locally-sourced mason jars filled with pickled vegetables and other items from the back of their fridges. This is the Phase of Fermentation, or better yet call it a new age. Fermentation is the …

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Animal Crossing: Friendship is magic

Hands raw and blistered, senior May Orwell works diligently day in and day out just to please others — and what for? What could one possibly gain from constantly fulfilling requests for other people? The satisfaction of friendship, that is what. “I just want to have as many people as …

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Boba Royale

Mira Mesa is home to an overabundance of boba shops. Residents of the area are staunch supporters of these sweet drinks, but what the general public doesn’t know is the secret to their operations. In order to secure the title of ‘best boba shop of the month,’ each shop agrees …

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Lindy’s Declassified Holiday Survival Guide

It’s officially December which means the holiday season has begun. Instead of pumpkin spice flavoring invading everyone’s favorite treats, peppermint flavor has taken over. Emails are being stuffed from companies advertising record low sales, reminding consumers that they must go through the torture that is holiday shopping. As students brace …

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Book Worms

The American flag stands at half mast, in commemoration of the brutal deaths of books in the library… by grub. This enigmatic occurrence holds the school in suspense as to how this is happening. “I just wanted to casually look like I’m reading in the library so this girl would …

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Updated college requirements

If you thought the requirements for getting into college were hard before, just wait until you see them now. A-G requirements have been thrown out the window for new ones. In a recent press conference from UC President Janet Napolitano,  UC hopefuls were informed that they would have to take …

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