Since the creation of time, women have been paying for feminine hygiene products that have been taxed as a luxury, instead of a necessity. Women throughout history were forced to pay the price for society’s repulsion of the grisly function of the female uterus.
Though Urban legends state that women have always been taken advantage of in the name of business, scientific research has shown that back in the stone age, cavewomen were the only females in human history to be exempt from the tampon tax.
“Our research has shown that in the age of the caveman and cavewoman, both parties saw each other as equal. It also shows that the caveman era had a society that looked much like the Americas,” Chief of Research, Min S. Trell said. “Concerning female menstruation, their markets also sold plants that would help with the bleeding, however, the cavepeople did not charge extra for these prehistoric tampons like the American government does, they had bigger fish to fry than worrying about imposing a tax on tampons, like killing a T-Rex for dinner.”
Since the publication of these profound findings created by Trell and her partner Penelope Perri Odd, females across the globe have banded together to revert to the most primitive time in human history in order to escape the tampon tax, with their leader Tammy Pon.
“We as women are tired of having to hide our blood. We are tired of having to literally pay the price for tampons. This whole tampon tax thing is really cramping our style.” Pon said, “So, in effort to save the females of this world from the tampon tax, we have decided to make a time machine to go back to the stone age.”
It seems that Pon was not ovary-acting. Pon’s group, The Red Sea, is scheduled to leave at twelve o’clock on National Women’s Day, August ninth. Other reports say that the only thing in Pon’s way to leave is an official repeal on the luxury tax on female hygienic products, but with past performance from the government, it looks like Pon and her followers will have to go with the flow.