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RIP the Old Taylor

Long live the bittersweet memories of dancing around your room to Taylor Swift’s, ‘You Belong With Me’; those days are no more.

Fans across the nation were shocked and saddened to hear of the country sweetheart’s passing, and even more shocked at what was left to replace her.

A woman damaged beyond repair puts on her heavy liner, black leather, and red lipstick before claiming her next victim. A woman who leaves 

Photo courtesy of Youtube

you to wonder “Who hurt you?” Well, if you were looking for the answer to that question, it’s right here.

This woman is no longer the T-Swift we know and love. This woman is actually Taylor Swift’s alter ego, Saylor Twift. Saylor Twift may think she can fool all of Taylor’s fans with the new music and power surge, but the REAL fans know better. The REAL fans know our poor Taylor is trapped inside the body of Saylor Twift, helpless since the release of ‘Red’.

“Ever since I heard ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’, I knew something was up,” long time Swiftie Becky Johnson said. “It just didn’t seem like the Taylor I know and love.”

Becky wasn’t the only one to have her suspicions.

“This isn’t Taylor,” fan club president Henry Hamilton said. “She has to be possessed or something. I know the real Taylor, and this just isn’t her. Saylor is trying to cover this up with new songs but no one is falling for it.”

A “Taylor Swift sighting” was made at her best friend Abigail’s wedding, which seemed like an attempt for the Taylor we love to escape. However, it may be too late to save her. Fans crashed the wedding and started booing Saylor, which is proof that they know Taylor is no longer there.

To save the real Taylor, a Go Fund Me page has been created to get her the rehabilitation she needs. Donating now could save her life and many others who may suffer from personality death in the future. Let’s make Saylor Taylor again.

 

About Sofia Minich

Sofia Minich
Sofia Minich is a sophomore and the features editor of the MC SUN. She spends her free time listening to "Cherry Wine" by Hozier over and over while procrastinating on her homework and hoping to magically understand math.

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