With the upcoming holiday season, we will all soon be surrounded by friends and family galore and creating memories— hot chocolate by the fireplace, amazing food, and not to mention presents. These glorious Kodak moments will be cherished for a lifetime, and to ruin them would be such a shame.
Like when your aunts all want to know what college you’re going to, what major you’re going to study, what job you want when you grow up. And so you tell them. All of them. Individually, of course, because they all ask you at different times of the day. Each time, you utter the name of the college whose application you submitted a month ago, then subsequently crossed your fingers, pulled on your lucky socks, prayed to the Heavens Above, and planted magic beans. After that, impending doom has been forcefully pushed out of your mind to semi-blissfully ignore while you await these life-or-death results.
Ah, the sweet smell of the holidays. While I love these conversations that obviously mean well, here’s a few strategies on how to field questions about your future.
Food serves more than just one purpose. Start gushing about how amazing the ham looks, and how they must have slaved away all day in the kitchen working on it (because they probably have) and shove it in your mouth. Your parents always told you not to talk with food in your mouth, you’re just following orders here.
Coordination is key. Make a blood pact with a trusted family member to cause a scene upon hearing one of these dreaded questions, and do whatever it takes. Say the baby pooped, let the dog loose, smash a vase (if it’s an ugly one, then you’re really just doing them a favor.) If all else fails, have them learn to cry on command. Once everyone is gathered around him or her, your crisis is averted.
Lastly, take cover. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. By that I mean literally going. Snatch the pumpkin pie and your annoying cousin who just asks “Why?” for extra protection before you retreat to your room. No one said this was going to be easy, but that’s why you brought pie.