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California’s Captivating Candidates

This cycle’s presidential elections have been so monotone and boring, it has turned off many young voters. In an effort to excite citizens about the democratic process, our California Senate candidates have released thoughtful yet enlightening statements to win over the public in November.

The youthful and diverse, smiling faces of the candidates provide promising first impressions. Not to mention all their photos are professionally lit and show just how excited and happy they are to  be running for the U.S. Senate.

Jerry Laws has been dedicated to public service since he was a kid, and everything about him, including his name, shows just how badly he wants this position. .

“When I was three, I changed my name to ‘Laws” because my dream is to create a law entitled ‘Law’s Law that will protect laws”, Laws said in an interview.

If this inspiring dream wasn’t enough, then his two word statement, “Constitutionalist. Americanism” proves he deserves the job. Just these two little words carry so much weight, this highly moving statement is sure to help Laws clinch the position. He has also promised the public that if he is elected, he will only speak in two word sentences which is sure to speed up the democratic process.

Ling Ling Shi’s statement transcends all grammar rules, proving it’s too strong to be contained. She challenges Californian’s to “challenge 10 giant chaos in economy and economy-related sectors.” This very clear challenge to Americans is easy to understand and is sure to call citizens to the polls to vote for Shi. These “chaoses” as Shi mentioned have been such a prominent issue in government and Shi’s plan to put an end to them are clear and sure to eradicate the problem.

All the candidates have pretty strong statements, but Jason Hanania’s use of binary code proves intriguing and insightful. “01100101,” Hanania wrote. Hanania, always intuitive, knows the average American reads binary code and can quickly translate that to the letter ‘e’, after all, America is ranked #1 in education. The letter explains the entirety of this egregious and exemplary environmentalist. Citizens have been so inspired by Hanania they have taken to speaking binary code that translates to single letters.

The three candidates mentioned above all have superb blurbs but they don’t end there. At http://voterguide.sos.ca.gov/candidates/us-senate-candidate-statements.htm, voters can scroll through the 20 candidates and feel inspired to vote any one of these genius humanitarians into office to represent the state of California in Washinton D.C.

Written by Lindy Verhage

Lindy is a Senior at MC and the Sun's Editor in Chief. She enjoys long-winded, antiquated idioms, big dogs that think they are small dogs, and traveling to local bookstores. She is an ambidextrous ice cream scooper and advocator of siestas.

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