Every San Diegan with a snapchat has accumulated a newfound purpose in his or her life, to have the honor of making an appearance on the legendary San Diego Live Story.
Only a select few each day are fortunate enough to be chosen to have twenty-four hours of fame. The question in every aspiring snapchatter’s mind: what does it take to get noticed and make it big?
After mass research and trial and error, specialist Haddie Cloon perfected her theory on the judging process that Team Snapchat applies when picking through entries.
“There’s an algorithm to it. Each video clip or picture on the story has at least one of three elements,” Roland said. “They either contain an aberrant activity, have captions with extreme spelling errors, or feature videos of an individual speaking to viewers about irrelevant things like it’s their vlog.”
Many have taken extreme measures to boost their chances of being selected, putting their lives in danger all in the name of social media.
“I broke my clavicle trying to ride a giraffe,” bandwagon victim Ted Sheerfin said. “I just wanted to do something unique to get noticed. I should’ve just gone to a wedding or took a dumb video of my dog. There’s always at least a dozen of those on the live feed.”
Furthermore, limelight crazed locals have reeked havoc in the city, resulting in multiple Snapchat induced accidents.
“The rate of car crashes caused by snapping and driving has increased by seventy three percent,” Officer Glen Stevani said. “Drivers are distracted with combing the streets in search of a Snapchat worthy opportunity rather than keeping their eyes on the road.”
In addition to the multiple issues regarding the app, angry rioters have stormed the Snapchat headquarters.
“I’ve submitted over two thousand quality videos, and not one was considered good enough,” Nick Mirage said. “And then I see people talking about pizza rolls and illiterate guys riding on segways who can’t even spell ‘hating’ made it on. Where’s the logic in this?”
Soon after the anger outbreak, Snapchat dissolved the San Diego Live Story. Although it no longer exists, the bitterness still resides in those neglected the shot at ten or less seconds of life-fulfilling glory.