“It’s the Sundevil Way to not harass the dementors,” headmaster Craig Mango said. “Will the culprit please return the dementor cloak to its rightful owner. Thank you.”
In light of recent events concerning school safety, PUSD has contracted a number of dementors as extra security to keep intruders off school campus and rowdy students inside the school boundaries.
For those who don’t know, dementors are infamous for being horrendous creatures. The mere presence of a dementor will make it seem like all happiness has been drained; they will feed off of blissful memories and leave nothing but depression and horror.
Earlier this month, Mango cleared up recent rumors regarding reasons for the use of such foul creatures on campus.
“After the events that occurred at Carlsbad High School, and the terrorist attacks in Paris, the district has come to the conclusion that extra security would be beneficial to the students and staff at MC,” Mango said. “But be warned. This year, all areas outside of the iron gates are restricted areas, and I advise all students who do not wish to roam the halls soulless thereafter to remain within the gates.”
While the dementors have been effective at securing school grounds, to the shock of MC’s administration, a number of students have blatantly disregarded Mango’s cautionary advice, and have started fraternizing with the dementors.
“Yeah, I don’t really see what the big deal is,” Junior Trish Diggory said. “Dementors don’t even do anything to me, or like half the kids here. Like honestly, is this some kind of joke? I thought they were supposed to serve as some sort of top-notch security.”
Senior Todd Goyle has also had similar experiences with these monitors cloaked in black.
“At first I was hesitant, but then I noticed they were innocuous. I did feel a drop in the temperature, but my mental state and the memories in my mind didn’t change. I guess you can’t lose what you don’t have,” Goyle said.
The district has recently come under fire for the emotional health of the students attending its educational institutions.
“If dementors have no joy to take from my baby, then it obviously means he feels he has nothing positive to live for,” concerned parent Lily Granger said. “It really makes you reflect on what the school is doing to our poor kids.”
Others make the best of the situation presented.
“I must admit, the flying was an obstacle for us, but with time we got over it,” sophomore Brittney Herpace said. “We’re happy together. I think he’s the one. I love his kisses; I feel like we have a connection when we kiss.”