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Sasquatch out for this new trend

Photo Illustration by Joe Gonzalez
Photo Illustration by Joe Gonzalez

Commonly called “The Squatch” by his comrades in the North American wilderness, this “mythical” beast began as a normal man who made No-shave November a year-round ordeal. He decided to spread his ideas into southern California upon his return home. Recently, the trend has affected the entire MC student body.  Junior Sarah Hawley, the newest recruit to the sasquatch movement, elaborates on her decision.

“ I just don’t understand why we should shave our legs. I mean, I wear pants everyday so I don’t see the point,”she said.  “I finally feel like I can be myself.”

Several sightings of sasquatch have been reported since the movement began. More and more students are vowing not to shave, and the students that shave regularly see this movement as an epidemic.

Many Sundevils begin to look like sasquatch within two to six weeks of not shaving. Most participants of the movement also experience changes in behavior and speech; grunting becomes the main form of communication.  Also, diets become more broad, because a palette for bugs and tree bark develops steadily. Teachers believe the movement affects their learning as well. Professor Severus Snape tells us why he opposes the new “epidemic”.

“The smell of these children is simply atrocious. Plus, their hairiness distracts from the learning environment […]. I’ve given up,” Snape said.

The upside to being a sasquatch is that you never need to wear a sweater, and you can save money by not buying razors. Only time will tell if this hairy situation will last past the winter season.

About jordan tolbert

Jordan is a Senior and runs on the MC Cross Country & Track team. She loves to laugh and tries to make puns all the time which aren't really funny. She is an energetic, friendly girl who you can count on. She also eats a lot of chocolate and sour patch kids...so maybe that's why she has so much energy.

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