“It’s the Sundevil Way to not harass the dementors,” headmaster Craig Mango said. “Will the culprit please return the dementor cloak to its rightful owner. Thank you.” In light of recent events concerning school safety, PUSD has contracted a number of dementors as extra security to keep intruders off school …
Read More »Parents abuse kids during the Christmas season
As thousands of children are forced to leave Syria as a result of the civil war in their country, children in America are faced with a far more concerning epidemic: getting the wrong present for Christmas, or worse, getting almost exactly what they wanted, but with small details being off. …
Read More »How To Get Away With New Year’s Resolutions
As 2015 picks up, people everywhere are promising to make changes, to be better. Whether it’s losing weight or quitting smoking, people look to this year with greater optimism than they had with previous years.. Here are some helpful tips for cruising on Resolution Road. Instead of dieting, watch Food …
Read More »Girl saves squirrel from shrub: a holiday miracle
Tis’ the season of Christmas miracles! During the most wonderful time of the year, seasonal phenomena occur that restore an individual’s faith in the future of humanity. On Tuesday the 16th, an event took place that embodied the very essence of this magical time of year. Mary Bella, a freshman …
Read More »Sasquatch out for this new trend
Commonly called “The Squatch” by his comrades in the North American wilderness, this “mythical” beast began as a normal man who made No-shave November a year-round ordeal. He decided to spread his ideas into southern California upon his return home. Recently, the trend has affected the entire MC student body. …
Read More »Rockin’ around the Christmas tree… with your crazy family!
December 25th is the reminder for families worldwide to let their guards down and chow down with distant cousins in the spirit of Old St. Nick. Now, some people might believe that each family is different and special, but in reality, every family has the same crazy relatives that make …
Read More »10 Things to do before you graduate
10 . Ride on the golf carts. Zoom through campus on the golf carts with the security guards. It’s much more exhilarating to ride with them than to get run over as you’re rushing to class. So ask nicely and they just might let you hop on. 9 . …
Read More »Shocking discovery raises questions: corpse removed from MC campus
*The following story is in no way truthful, all articles posted under the Sunburn are merely parodical or satirical “Our thoughts go out to the Chavez family, and we hope them the best while they weather this challenging obstacle in their lives,” PUSD superintendent Jane P. Collins said. On Monday, …
Read More »The haunting of the k-building
Word on the street is that there are some freaky things going on in the K-building’s girls bathroom. Sophomore Shelby Davidson disclosed the horror she experienced about a week ago due to the obvious possession of the K building girls restroom by an unwelcome ghoul. “Recently, I was taking a …
Read More »The Unavoidable Senior “Sickness”
On the first day of every high school student’s senior year, a strange disease begins to manifest itself. This potent virus lays dormant from the start of an individuals freshman year; it is unavoidable and its symptoms vary in their severity and apparentness. Commonly known as Senioritis, this epidemic has …
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