The Sunburn

“It’s the Sundevil Way to not harass the dementors,” headmaster Craig Mango said. “Will the culprit please return the dementor cloak to its rightful owner. Thank you.” In light of recent events concerning school safety, PUSD has contracted a number of dementors as extra security to keep intruders off school …

As thousands of children are forced to leave Syria as a result of the civil war in their country, children in America are faced with a far more concerning epidemic: getting the wrong present for Christmas, or worse, getting almost exactly what they wanted, but with small details being off. …

As 2015 picks up, people everywhere are promising to make changes, to be better. Whether it’s losing weight or quitting smoking, people look to this year with greater optimism than they had with previous years.. Here are some helpful tips for cruising on Resolution Road. Instead of dieting, watch Food …

Tis’ the season of Christmas miracles! During the most wonderful time of the year, seasonal phenomena occur that restore an individual’s faith in the future of humanity. On Tuesday the 16th, an event took place that embodied the very essence of this magical time of year. Mary Bella, a freshman …

Commonly called “The Squatch” by his comrades in the North American wilderness, this “mythical” beast began as a normal man who made No-shave November a year-round ordeal. He decided to spread his ideas into southern California upon his return home. Recently, the trend has affected the entire MC student body. …

December 25th is the reminder for families worldwide to let their guards down and chow down with distant cousins in the spirit of Old St. Nick. Now, some people might believe that each family is different and special, but in reality, every family has the same crazy relatives that make …

10 . Ride on the golf carts. Zoom through campus on the golf carts with the security guards. It’s much more exhilarating to ride with them than to get run over as you’re rushing to class. So ask nicely and they just might let you hop on.   9 . …

*The following story is in no way truthful, all articles posted under the Sunburn are merely parodical or satirical “Our thoughts go out to the Chavez family, and we hope them the best while they weather this challenging obstacle in their lives,” PUSD superintendent Jane P. Collins said. On Monday, …

Word on the street is that there are some freaky things going on in the K-building’s girls bathroom. Sophomore Shelby Davidson disclosed the horror she experienced about a week ago due to the obvious possession of the K building girls restroom by an unwelcome ghoul. “Recently, I was taking a …

On the first day of every high school student’s senior year, a strange disease begins to manifest itself. This potent virus lays dormant from the start of an individuals freshman year; it is unavoidable and its symptoms vary in their severity and apparentness. Commonly known as Senioritis, this epidemic has …