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The Sunburn

The Sunburn is the parody/satire section of the MC Sun. Articles posted under the Sunburn may or may not use real names and events. All articles within the Sunburn are either fiction of exaggerations of the truth. Stories regarding politicians, celebrities, or the Mt. Carmel staff, are based on real people, but will be almost completely fictional. The Sunburn section in no way represents truthful news and those who believe the news to be true are mistaken.

Animal Crossing: Friendship is Magic

Hands raw and blistered, senior May Orwell works diligently day in and day out just to please others — and what for? What could one possibly gain from constantly fulfilling requests for other people? The satisfaction of friendship, that is what. “I just want to have as many people as …

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M(ariah)ERRY C(arey)HRISTMAS

Once upon a time, in an era of plaid skirts, scrunchies, and chokers, there was once a mortal who had her eyes set on fame. This mortal’s name was Mariah Carey, a lovely, vibrant, and driven young lady she was, singing beautiful songs for all to hear. But dear Carey …

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Delicious Breakfast Delivered to MC

Legend holds that the Sleepy Boi awakes on late start Fridays, tirelessly preparing breakfast for his friends. Every week, a new adventure for their taste buds awaits. They ponder in anticipation of the flavor: blueberry, Oreo, strawberry, or perhaps something new. No one can resist the captivating aura of a …

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Blake Shelton, The Sexiest Man Alive

There has been extreme controversy on People Magazine’s  Sexiest Man Alive 2017, Blake Shelton. This choice is dividing friends and family everywhere, and is little by little tearing apart our nation.      Avalon Millbrook, head of the anti-Shelton movement, is using her Facebook group to petition to get Congress involved. “This …

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A Local’s Guide to Faking Fall

The start of a new school year ushers in every wannabe east coast city-dweller’s favorite season. Fall is in the air, and that means PSLs (Pumpkin Spice Lattes), heavy jackets in crimson and hunter green, and cozy hay rides. But don’t let the sudden flood of pumpkins balanced on beanie-bound …

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The Mystery of Mr. E

Mr. E is not what he seems. Though most students know him as Engebrits, our special investigations team has finally discovered his true identity—Mr. Anglebrackets. Cunningly, Anglebrackets entered MC as a math teacher to avoid suspicion of his ulterior objective: recruiting an elite group of high school hackers. From the …

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Boba Royale

Mira Mesa is home to an overabundance of boba shops. Residents of the area are staunch supporters of these sweet drinks, but what the general public doesn’t know is the secret to their operations. In order to secure the title of ‘best boba shop of the month,’ each shop agrees …

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A Remedy for the Dangers of the Eclipse

The following article is meant only as satire. We do not advise anything in the article. See a professional for any serious problems. Maybe staring directly at the sun wasn’t the brightest idea. While seeing an eclipse is a special event, you did not need severly damage your eyes to …

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Move over Sundevil, its Rooster Time

An earthquake to education, a typhoon to teaching, and a disaster to the district, the rooster of MC has been wreaking havoc on the school environment. He has claimed the service road as his own, and thou who dare to enter it shall face his wrath. The incessant “coackadoodledooing” makes …

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